For those of you who don't know, I've been (slowly) working through this Paul study with Beth Moore. I took a break from it to do a study with the counseling staff this summer, but I was so happy to return to it (not that the other was bad by any means). Day 37 really hit me where I needed it—which I think tends to happen when you're working with the God of the Universe!
It was all about failure, revealing how frustrated Paul was after dealing with the Athenians in Acts 17. For people who were so intellectual and seemed so open to new ideas, these people were incredibly closed to the Gospel! While a few men and women were saved, their faith does not seem to be very strong, and Paul never mentions a church being built there—and this was after one of the best salvation messages ever preached! And yet Paul left in frustration.
The next place Paul traveled to was to Corinth. Unlike when he went elsewhere, Paul had a new sense of defeat; a sense of frustration and failure. And yet, the Corinthians responded well, because Paul was humbled anew, and was able to allow God to work through his inability. It says that Paul came to them "with weakness and fear, and with much trembling" (1 Corth 2:2), and God used him even more.
It brings to mind this past summer. Stacy and I had to teach our own lessons, and this is something I was more uncomfortable with than I would like to admit. I was intimidated. I have no teaching experience—other than leading a few Bible studies and counseling the year before—and those I directed towards the individuals, and on what topic I felt they needed to cover. This was entirely different for me. I had a set topic. I had a wide age-group. I had very little self-confidence.
It's hard to try and be a "teacher" when your co-worker actually is a teacher—and a great one at that! But it was great to see God use those times. While I had a few lessons that "flopped", my inadequacy revealed my dependence on God, and He was able to lead me towards lesson plans that I would not have considered within my topic before hand. He revealed new ways to send a message and opened oppertunities during individual times with the campers.
Everytime I said: "I can't, I'm not good enough"
"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'." (2 Corth 12:9)
Who knows if anything stuck? If they will even remember me?
I sure don't. But I do know that God can use those times when I feel most inadequate to do great things.