A good piece of Chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per day, and a few more on weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.
Therefore, in the past 3 1/2 years, I have had a Chocolate calorie intake of 180 pounds. Considering my current weight is less than 180, I would have wasted away several months ago.
I owe my life to Chocolate.
(unfortunately I cannot take credit for this wonderfully witty essay—my roommate sent it to me and I only tweaked part of it)